#IAmCapable - A change in society

I would say that 90% men think the same. I have personally met boys in my college, work place and in my building and locality who mainly judge girls based on their looks. I've seen them laughing at girls who are over weight and passing taunts at them when the enter and leave our building and even married men who aren't happy because they wife is either over weight or less beautiful compared to the neighbors or other working women in their offices, they start getting more friendly with other girls. It's a sad fact but it does happen that men base their judgement on the looks only of a women.


I had applied on a marriage portal for a groom and I got a response mainly based on my looks and not my education. The responses were like "You look so pretty with long hair. Why is your hair cut in the other one?" "Is this your real photograph? Why don't you do your eyebrows?" and so on and I thought they truly liked me profile and hence contacted me. On further talking to these boys, they made remarks about my weight issues which was embarrassing as I never contacted them based on their looks but rather checked their profile to see if we could match or not.


There were other responses as well where the boy's parents used to comment that we want a fair-skinned girl who has a height of 5' 6'' or 5' 7'' and only prefers wearing a sari as their son wants the girl to have those qualities. They asked me for the photograph where I had worn a sari. They never cared about knowing the real inner qualities of the girl.


b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

I have not been a person to consider the comments more important than my goal and hence I've always ignored all these judgement and only focused on my goal. However, there have been women in India who were forced to marry without their wish and opinion as their family felt that they would not get a decent groom due to their daughter's looks while there have been cases where women have been put down due to their color, especially in the Bollywood world where girls who are dark skinned and don't look pretty have not been chosen for movies.


c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

That's true. I have also heard remarks made by my cousins about my weight and they begin comparing me with their children who look better than me and are well built. They never congratulate me when I inform them about my promotion or when I received my degree. They more talk about my looks and weight issues rather in a mocking way. My aunt too tries many a times to demean me before others making me feel embarrassed as for her only looks matters. Very rarely do I find strangers talking about my looks.


d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

I being a working women have faced this personally in my office. Except my boss, there are girls and boys who keep teasing me always and judge my talent based on my looks and weight. They tell me that I won't be able to work overtime as I am thin but for me, I can work till anytime as I am determined to do so and for me my work is worship.


I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.

Personal Experiences - IAmCapable

The startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.



I just watched Life OK, Savdhaan India, Savdhaan India, and the show episode was based on this factor itself. It narrated an incident of a girl who was over weight and married to a man who falls in love with the sister as she looks more beautiful than his wife. The show explains the story keeping in mind it's a sensitive issue and it is the real truth of our society as well where women face discrimination and people judge them on their looks rather than their talent and heart.


Reading the statistics given by Blogadda, the figures are shocking but the truth that exists even today. It's too sad to see that 69% men think that women are judged based on their looks alone. My view about this makes me saddened as only the external beauty of a woman matters and not their external qualities and talent.



I being myself judged for my weight being less can understand how does one feel when they are judged based on that. I am an Engineer and when I even go out for interviews, I am asked about my weight, my clothes are judged and then my hair style is judged rather than my degrees which are given less importance. Even while working, I feel it weird to hear remarks about my weight and clothes and my colleagues too start passing taunts and comments about me being thin. It has not only happened in my office but also when I was in college, a professor made fun of me saying that I was light as a feather and the entire class start laughing and mocking me. Even at times, my own cousins pass remarks about my weight and call me a vegetable which makes me angry and hurt a lot.



Being based on looks, clothes and our weight are very saddening but I want this viewpoint to change. It has not happened to me personally, but my friend was many a times put down when she met her future husband who kept making remarks of her being dark skinned. He wanted dowry because of her color and her parents refused to give any dowry because of which her relationship was cancelled. She was so talented in studies but only her looks were judged and mocked. When I heard her, I couldn't stop my tears and she told me that I am fair skinned and hence I won't be facing such problems but I too face a discrimination because of being under weight.


Another experience which I would like to share is when I had gone for an interview and my mom was waiting outside. A stranger who was sitting next to her was watching the girls passing by and making remarks about them based on their clothing. According to him, girls wearing jeans were characterless while those wearing salwars were decent. My mother was shocked and she felt sick of his thoughts.


It's high time that women start speaking about it and make an oath to stop people from judging women based on their looks and rather take into account their qualities which should matter for one and all.

I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.

CaratLane #LoveAndLaughter Post 2

Watching a horror movie:

Last month I and my partner decided to watch the movie "Paranormal Activity" as we had bought the CD of the movie. My partner was hesitant to watch the movie as he gets scared of horror movies and plus we decided to watch the movie at night which made him even more scared. I told him that the movie is not that scary as I had read the plot earlier on the internet. After trying three times, I finally managed to convince him to watch the movie at night.

I started playing the movie at 11:00 p.m. and my partner cuddled himself up in a blanket, thus preparing himself that he has not to get frightened. I started laughing watching him and as the movie kept playing, I started making scary noises to tease him. The movie had some really scary scenes of an unknown force scratching the wall and my husband screamed and held my hand tightly making me laugh out loud. He kept screaming for every scary scene after that, may it be just a door getting locked and so on which made my laughter uncontrollable and for me it was less of a horror movie but more of a comic one due to my partner's reaction. After the movie ended, he just kept sitting quietly as he was still involved with the movie and I caught his hand and made him sleep in the bedroom. The whole night he kept rolling from one end to the other as the movie had made him too scared. When I woke him up in the morning, he screamed loudly and kept saying "Bhoot bhoot bhoot..." and I was feeling so funny watching him so scared and then I hugged him, making him relax.

After this incident, he never agreed to watch any horror movie with me and I still try to convince him saying that he needs to remember that the movies are just a part of a fiction. He still refuses to watch any movie and he asks me to watch the movies alone as they scare him all night. It was a very funny incident and we still talk about it when any Hollywood horror movie releases and the family wants to watch it. He goes quietly and sleeps in his room and we keep laughing at his childish nature. These are some love and laughter moments we share and we enjoy them a lot.

This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane.

#LoveAndLaughter Post 1

I and my spouse had gone for a trip to Australia where our relatives live and I was responsible to book the tickets for our trip. We were so excited as I was visiting my cousins after so many years and my partner had never been to Australia. We left on a Sunday and reached the next day in the morning. We spent about 3 days with our relatives and it was great fun we had there.


On our journey back home, my spouse went in to confirm the tickets and he noticed that the tickets had a wrong time mentioned. I had to book tickets for 10:30 a.m. but mistakenly I booked the tickets of the 10:30 p.m. flight. When he came and told me the same, I did not believe it as I had thoroughly checked the tickets and confirmed all the details but when he showed me the tickets, I was shocked at my silly mistake in the timing. I did not know how to react and he stood before me, giving me a stern look. I felt so embarrassed and we shared a few moments of silence. I stood dumbstruck before him and he just burst out laughing. I failed to know the reason as I thought he might get angry and scold me for my mistake as we had left our relative's house and if we would go back, it would take a lot of time and we were too tired to travel back to their house. I asked him as to why was he laughing so much but then he pulled my cheeks and said that I did a great job as he wanted to spend more time in Australia. He felt like staying longer here and hence this was an unknown coincidence that the ticket timings were incorrect. We then decided to spend our time shopping and watching a movie before our flight arrives and we spent all our time in the best way possible.

After this mistake of mine (which was a pleasant one indeed), I never booked any flight tickets on my own as I was always scared of making mistakes and it was only my husband or my mom who used to book tickets. I can never forget my mistake in booking the tickets as it was really a silly one but the extra 12 hours that I and my partner spent with each other were the best moments in our life. He still teases me about it but these are some moments which bring in happiness in our lives and we should never let go of them.



This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane.

#TalesOf2015 - As it comes to an end...

2015 was a very special year for me and I would like to describe it in 3 phases and highlight the few facts that changed my life through the phases.

First Phase (January - April):

This phase was pleasant and fresh as the start of the year for me always comes up with new challenges and tasks but 2015 was the start to many new things in my life. During this phase, I celebrated my grand aunt's birthday who turned 91 and she is the senior most member of our family.

This was the time when we celebrated Easter at our place and it was a great moment as our family members visited our place after years as they live abroad and we rarely meet each other. This was the most special moment of 2015 and we spent lots of happy and emotional moments with each other.

Second Phase (May-August):




This was the phase of new things as during this phase, I got a new job and received  a new iPhone as well. This was the most exciting phase of my life as it came as a surprise and new challenges. I was excited to join my new company and meet new people. It did take time for me to settle but I did it quite easily and got along with all my colleagues. My new iPhone too was a gift I received and it was the first ever Apple product I owned and had always been dreaming about owning one. I still use this device and I am craving for new Apple devices after using their iPhone.

Third Phase (September - December):






The last and the best phase of my life. During this phase, my cousin gave birth to a new baby and the small child brought in a new life in the family. With this, I attended Win15 and had a great experience meeting stars like Mandira Bedi and Tara Sharma at the event and I met new bloggers too who shared their blogs and areas of interest with me. Since it was my first ever visit to Marriot, I had a lot of fun attending the event. The speaker was quite funny and sportive and I will always cherish the memories I spent with the Blogadda team. Towards the end of the year, I got a bonus from my job and had a great time shopping and checking out the latest devices launched in the tech world.



I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.

I support #KnowYourRights initiative....Do you?

Moving ahead and after discussing points like awareness, prevention and punishment, I would like to highlight few more facts that are either ignored or not given much importance when it comes to the safety of women. Here in this post I would throw light on the main reasons as to why should women come ahead and report these crimes. They should know that it's their right and not be afraid of the society.

Laws can be strengthened: By reporting the cases of sexual violence, women can actually help other women from getting targeted and assaulted. By reporting such cases, the laws can be rethought upon and by raising their voice and being vocal about their experience, the necessary steps can be taken to reduce these crimes from taking place again. When such cases are reported, they do get the necessary media attention and the Government is forced to implement the necessary steps and be more concerned about women protection. If we take an example of the Nirbhaya case, it spread more awareness and got attention due to which there were many sections that were added for women safety and the fast track courts made this case get a verdict in a short time. Laws need to change and only reporting these cases would bring in a strong impact in our legal system else keeping quite would make the ongoing cases more weaker.

To reduce your fear: When the cases of sexual violence are reported, it helps the victim to have some faith and fight for her right against the criminal. The more these incidents are reported, the more criminals would think before attempting such a cruel thing. It will indeed improve the conditions and safety for women and make them get rid of their fear. Since there are many working women who travel late at night, the more these incidents come are spoken about, the more working women can be alert and learn about their vicinity. If such crimes are reported, they can learn what steps they need to take while traveling and what they need to avoid while working late night or in the day.


People work together: Reporting crimes against women would bring in a safer environment for women and make people work together and try to prevent such incidents from taking place. People would try to find reasons for these crimes and then educate the males in their homes and teach them to respect every women. The more this word spreads, the more people would be careful in life and protect themselves. People would take the reported cases as an example and learn what they should do to stop these incidents from repeating. It alarms the people and tells them the reality of their place which makes them take even more care in future.

I’m writing this blog post to support Amnesty International’s#KnowYourRights campaign at BlogAdda. You can also contribute to the cause by donating or spreading the word.

Stop Violence....Stand for yourself

Violence against women has been a major concerning issue in India and its been alarming everyone. Not only women but even men are concerned for the women in their family and they want to know ways to stop these incidents from taking place. So many people are still hesitant to report these incidents due to the society but I have always been supportive of reporting these crimes are keeping quite indirectly favors these incidents and saves the culprit. Here are my reasons for reporting incidents of sexual violence.

1. Prevent these incidents: By reporting the incidents of sexual violence, these incidents can be atleast prevented (if not stopped in future). These incidents keep taking place as the culprits feel that the girl may not report it due to the fear of her name being leaked but this makes the culprit keep repeating his crime and escaping from the punishment. These incidents are on a rise today as almost 70% incidents aren't reported unless they happen in public or they are big incidents. Due to this, villages are more prone to these crimes as they aren't reported but if one person comes out and reports the incident, others too would follow the same and these incidents can be prevented.

2. Criminal should be punished: Often people think that they might have done wrong and hence they were a victim to such incidents. The society also use to blame the victims instead and hence the criminals used to be able to roam freely. Today the society also has changed their views and criminals are punished severely for these crimes. By reporting them, there is a chance that they will get punished and other girls will be saved. If one criminal gets punished, the others who dare to do such shameless and sinful acts would restrict themselves and be afraid of the punishment, with the end result being that these crimes would reduce.

3. Awareness: The more these incidents are reported, the more people will be aware that these incidents can take place with anyone and can happen everywhere. More precautions can be taken and people will realize that sexual assault isn't a shameful thing for the girl but it's a shameful thing for the male who commit such crimes. The women will be aware that they need to step forward and defend themselves and hence reporting these issues will spread awareness and make people be more careful with the males in their surroundings.

I am really proud to write this blogpost and I salute Blogadda for taking this initiative and bringing it to the notice that these crimes should never be hidden but should be reported as we need to protect the females of our country and make them proud of being a WOMAN.

I’m writing this blog post to support Amnesty International’s#KnowYourRights campaign at BlogAdda. You can also contribute to the cause by donating or spreading the word.