ShareTheLoad - Now times have changed

When I was a small kid, I used to see my mother leaving her job and working at home only 24/7. I felt always bad for my mom as she loved going to the court and working but the household responsibilities were too much for her to handle and since we were kids, she had to look after us as well. I felt that it was the case with every women that they are unable to work outside as the housework is itself a fulltime job.


When I started going to office, I had a friend who was married and she too had a young child of 1 year. I felt that her case was the same as my mom but she used to manage to complete her housework early morning and come to office as well. She used to get up at 4:00 a.m. daily, wash the clothes, cook the food for her husband and inlaws, take care of her child and get everything ready for him and then leave for office which was a 2 hours journey by train. By the time she used to reach office, she used to be completely drained and while working, she used to fall asleep as she used to get barely 4-5 hours sleep at home. When I asked her why doesn't she get help from her inlaws or husband, she used to say that since her husband also works at office, he is unable to help her out.



It is the case with all women who are working at home as well as in office and the women need to get everything ready for their husbands and family member. Whether it's picking up a pin from the ground, opening the door, attending the phone calls, washing the ground, cooking the food, getting drinking water and bathing water ready, everything and anything is done only by the mother/women of the house. Since Ariel has proved that the laundry work atleast can be done by the men of the house since their washing money is very easy to operate, the work can be shared by the men itself without needing the guidance of women. This is itself a change brought by Ariel and I hope this can change the gender prejudice that exists since the past 200-300 years among us.


I have already brought this change in my house and my nephews though 5-6 years old get their work done on their own. This was a practise of my mom and she wanted girls and boys share equal responsibilities and not only women to do all the housework. I am proud of her that in our family, we don't have any gender inequalities.



I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

ShareTheLoad - Why only women need to bea all the loa?

This is the universal truth that men always feel that women are responsible for taking care of household duties as they see their mother, sister, wife and daughter practising the same. The word "Grahni" means a housewife and hence even if a woman is a working women, when she reaches home, she has to perform her household duties in addition to working in the office. It doesn't only happen in India, but it also happens with Indians living abroad. I have many NRI friends who keep sharing their experience at home with me and I used to get shocked when they used to say how they had to clean their house daily, make food for their husband and even do the laundry work in spite of working out in the office.

Here I would like to share one such experience of my friend who had an interesting thing to say when asked about it:

I was working in an office and at that time, I used to work as a freelancer. My friend too was working as a freelance in the same company and she spoke about how she does all the work at home in addition to spare time to work at home. She was once attending a conference call and talking to a foreigner but the timing of the call was not feasible to her as she had to complete her household responsibilities as well. She had to delay the conference call and when her client asked her about the same, she answered that she had to prepare breakfast, lunch box and get the clothes ready for her husband which was the reason she delayed the call. Her husband goes to office at 7:00 a.m. and she has to get everything done by 6. The client was quite surprised hearing this and she said "Why can't husbands do their own work? We also are working women and they need to understand that household responsibilities need to be shared. I too am married but my husband gets his work done himself." On hearing this, my friend was shocked and she shared this with her husband who said that the client lives in a different country while they don't and here only women need to do the household work.


The above example is just one experience that I got to hear and it was quite interesting to note the difference between two cultures while both are right in someway and wrong in the other way. Ariel has brought a change in our thinking and has shown that husbands can take the load of their own laundry work and women need not be responsible for everything. Today's women are self independent and men should stop being dependent on us for everything.

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

#IAmCapable - A change in society

I would say that 90% men think the same. I have personally met boys in my college, work place and in my building and locality who mainly judge girls based on their looks. I've seen them laughing at girls who are over weight and passing taunts at them when the enter and leave our building and even married men who aren't happy because they wife is either over weight or less beautiful compared to the neighbors or other working women in their offices, they start getting more friendly with other girls. It's a sad fact but it does happen that men base their judgement on the looks only of a women.


I had applied on a marriage portal for a groom and I got a response mainly based on my looks and not my education. The responses were like "You look so pretty with long hair. Why is your hair cut in the other one?" "Is this your real photograph? Why don't you do your eyebrows?" and so on and I thought they truly liked me profile and hence contacted me. On further talking to these boys, they made remarks about my weight issues which was embarrassing as I never contacted them based on their looks but rather checked their profile to see if we could match or not.


There were other responses as well where the boy's parents used to comment that we want a fair-skinned girl who has a height of 5' 6'' or 5' 7'' and only prefers wearing a sari as their son wants the girl to have those qualities. They asked me for the photograph where I had worn a sari. They never cared about knowing the real inner qualities of the girl.


b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

I have not been a person to consider the comments more important than my goal and hence I've always ignored all these judgement and only focused on my goal. However, there have been women in India who were forced to marry without their wish and opinion as their family felt that they would not get a decent groom due to their daughter's looks while there have been cases where women have been put down due to their color, especially in the Bollywood world where girls who are dark skinned and don't look pretty have not been chosen for movies.


c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

That's true. I have also heard remarks made by my cousins about my weight and they begin comparing me with their children who look better than me and are well built. They never congratulate me when I inform them about my promotion or when I received my degree. They more talk about my looks and weight issues rather in a mocking way. My aunt too tries many a times to demean me before others making me feel embarrassed as for her only looks matters. Very rarely do I find strangers talking about my looks.


d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

I being a working women have faced this personally in my office. Except my boss, there are girls and boys who keep teasing me always and judge my talent based on my looks and weight. They tell me that I won't be able to work overtime as I am thin but for me, I can work till anytime as I am determined to do so and for me my work is worship.


I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.

Personal Experiences - IAmCapable

The startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.



I just watched Life OK, Savdhaan India, Savdhaan India, and the show episode was based on this factor itself. It narrated an incident of a girl who was over weight and married to a man who falls in love with the sister as she looks more beautiful than his wife. The show explains the story keeping in mind it's a sensitive issue and it is the real truth of our society as well where women face discrimination and people judge them on their looks rather than their talent and heart.


Reading the statistics given by Blogadda, the figures are shocking but the truth that exists even today. It's too sad to see that 69% men think that women are judged based on their looks alone. My view about this makes me saddened as only the external beauty of a woman matters and not their external qualities and talent.



I being myself judged for my weight being less can understand how does one feel when they are judged based on that. I am an Engineer and when I even go out for interviews, I am asked about my weight, my clothes are judged and then my hair style is judged rather than my degrees which are given less importance. Even while working, I feel it weird to hear remarks about my weight and clothes and my colleagues too start passing taunts and comments about me being thin. It has not only happened in my office but also when I was in college, a professor made fun of me saying that I was light as a feather and the entire class start laughing and mocking me. Even at times, my own cousins pass remarks about my weight and call me a vegetable which makes me angry and hurt a lot.



Being based on looks, clothes and our weight are very saddening but I want this viewpoint to change. It has not happened to me personally, but my friend was many a times put down when she met her future husband who kept making remarks of her being dark skinned. He wanted dowry because of her color and her parents refused to give any dowry because of which her relationship was cancelled. She was so talented in studies but only her looks were judged and mocked. When I heard her, I couldn't stop my tears and she told me that I am fair skinned and hence I won't be facing such problems but I too face a discrimination because of being under weight.


Another experience which I would like to share is when I had gone for an interview and my mom was waiting outside. A stranger who was sitting next to her was watching the girls passing by and making remarks about them based on their clothing. According to him, girls wearing jeans were characterless while those wearing salwars were decent. My mother was shocked and she felt sick of his thoughts.


It's high time that women start speaking about it and make an oath to stop people from judging women based on their looks and rather take into account their qualities which should matter for one and all.

I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.